II. Women's Interfaith Dinner Presentations

"Cultural Diversity"

Fulya Celik's Speech

Good evening distinguished guests, dear friends,

It’s not everyday that you can attend a function that causes such a stir!  The inaugural Women’s Dinner held by the Australian Intercultural Society under the auspices of Laila Reception just over a year ago is still the talk of the town.  It never ceases to amaze me how many people I still continue to meet, from all walks of life and from all over Melbourne, who either attended it and loved it, or know of someone who attended it and, as a result, were sure to attend the next one.   I am certain there many such people here tonight!

As mentioned earlier, I have just recently returned from the Hajj, or Pilgrimage to Mecca.  Being one out of about five million people, I realised firsthand the awesome impact of cultural diversity.  While we all shared the same faith, everything else was diverse.  It seemed to me to be a microcosm and index of humanity.  Essential to this experience was the awareness of respecting all others, not just fellow humans, but also the natural environment and respecting each other’s right to worship and share the same sacred space, man and woman alike.

I must confess from the outset, that, in making preparations for tonight’s presentation, I was awfully tempted to list as many challenges posed to us, particularly as women, as possible – and there are many!  What I hope to do, however, is to briefly sketch a few of these and suggest some possible means for addressing them.

In an era characterised by the dialectic between exponents of Huntington’s ‘Clash of Civilisations’ thesis and those who see hope and scope for mutual understanding and peace between different world communities, cultures hold great prominence.  In our ever-globalising world, ‘culture’ seems to be the new currency.  The way in which a multitude of cultures differing historically, politically and socially, interact with one another is at the heart of this discussion.  The points of intersection between cultures are usually explained away using the politics of difference.  It is always easier to see what others are not, rather than what they are.  This leads to the ‘us and them’ mentality that, unfortunately, so often pervades the discourse of political and religious leaders.   Alternatively, looking at the points of similarity between diverse cultures brings into purview significant parallels.  As always, gender cannot be overlooked.  Take, for instance, the fundamental issue of violence against women.  While this is sometimes presented as the problem of particular communities or cultures, it is the common problem of women, notwithstanding culture or faith tradition.  Such concerns are not cultural, they are universal.

The question of discrimination based on race or religion is another important example.  Whether it is in the form of anti-Semitism or Islamophobia, or whether it goes by any other name, the problem remains the same.  And, of course, the cause is blatantly obvious – ignorance.  Naming the problem is relatively easy.  It is in delineating the solution where the problem, and therefore the challenge, lies.

To this end, I would like to suggest a few solutions.   The role of social interaction is a crucial step towards locating the points of similarities between the experiences of women across cultures.  The lack thereof, a break down in communication, is the chief ingredient for the breeding of fear in society.   This, in turn, cannot be depicted without an understanding of arguably the biggest factor in the equation – the mass media and the subsequent representations of difference.  This is where the fault line lies.  But what of the solution?  If, in the case of misrepresentation of any woman, be she Somalian, Jewish, Chinese, Muslim, or any other, we as members of key communities and organisations could circulate joint press releases denouncing discrimination and violence, less women would become media victims and the media would be less likely to publish such stories in the future.  At the individual level, we would be exercising our democratic right to freedom of speech by writing, phoning or emailing editors and journalists – representatives of the fourth estate.

Obtaining accurate knowledge is also fundamental.  While formal education, through schooling and tertiary education is important, it is not sufficient, especially when received in isolation, as is too often the case.  The richness of culture is then reduced to the superficial appreciation of culinary delights and colourful costumes.

Another challenge that women in particular meet within the milieu of cultural diversity is the question of children closely interacting with members of other cultural and faith traditions.  Not having an awareness of ‘the other’ may even cause some to deem this to be a negative thing.  This can be overcome with interaction at the familial level, for instance, by celebrating religious and cultural occasions together.  My own experience of sharing a meal during Sukkot and the Sabbath has only allowed me to deepen my understanding and appreciation for my Jewish friends.

What is needed is a coming together, like there is tonight, of different people – without interaction being conditional – that I do not expect you to think like me or dress like me or even talk like me in order for me to accept you.  To only accept and love people who think like us or resemble us, is another way of looking in the mirror – and if this isn’t self-love, or narcissism, what is it?

One of the scariest challenges facing us today, within the context of cultural diversity is the notion of assimilation.   The connotations are all too clear: inquisitions, holocausts and internment camps, ethnic cleansing, prospects too frightening to even imagine.  Cultures, from the remotest tribes in Africa to the diverse traditions in Asia need to be accepted in their own right.  Transcendence, moving beyond our comfort zones and being open to others, while at the same time challenging media stereotypes are just a few steps along this sacred journey of a thousand miles.

The power that every individual has to make a change is represented in the oft-cited ‘ripple effect’.  That is, what one does has repercussions that impact on others, from ripple to myriad other ripples, and so it continues.   I believe that the power each and every woman has is greater even than this.  We women make waves!  As waves on the sea do not stop due to the pull of the moon that keeps them going, I would like to think that the pull that drives us, that is in our very essence, is mush stronger – the love of humanity.  It is this that shines here tonight.

Thank you.

Cultural diversity-challenges faced by women

When a Jew dies it is customary to learn mishna- oral law- because mishna is an anagram of neshama meaning soul. Maimonides, medieval Jewish scholar, has a wonderful teaching in the Guide for the Perplexed that talks about how we connect to immortality through attaching ourselves to things that are eternal- the pinnacle of which is wisdom.

A young man scubadiving died in Sinai , Egypt and he went to my yeshiva- school- in Jerusalem and last week the community was dividing up mishnayot so that between everyone the whole mishna was learnt in honour of this man. I was apportioned an interesting tractate called middot- meaning measurements which is like an architectural digest of the holy temple.

I noticed something very interesting. Before the mishna described the big picture of the temple it explained details of the gates and the gates within gates and then only after these descriptions did it go back to describing the whole temple area: Har habayit- the temple mount was 500 amot (cubits) by 500 amot (cubits). This movement from the small to the big, from the particular to the generality is the trope of my talk.

Each of our traditions is at its best and most holy when its own particularity reticulates back to the sense of common humanity  and earth that we share and the acceptance of what is- the love of reality-life.

Like many important problems, the topic for tonight- cultural diversity: challenges faced by women, has the answer embedded in the question. Even if it doesn’t exactly provide the answer then it provides a way of looking at the question. I’ll tell you what I mean by this. ON the one hand it mentions cultural diversity which is a given, which signals difference, and on the other hand it presents the idea of ‘challenges faced by women’ which connotes a shared experience. This can mean that although there is cultural diversity there may be some assumptions that all women, irrespective of their cultural difference’ may have challenges that they share. They may also have shared challenges with respect to how they relate to cultural diversity.

The dynamic represented in this title between both diversity and sameness is the dynamic that I think our interfaith connections need to nurture as they develop. I think the importance of us getting together is both to reinforce our sameness and explore our difference from each other and see it is more about our ideas than about our humanity. When we meet we break down ideas and stereotypes that we may have of the other and we allow the other to reveal herself before us. We don’t have to have cultural differences to impose our projections on another person- who we think they are and what we think they are thinking. But sometimes when cultural difference is part of the mixture our tricky minds may use it as a way to create a distance between us and another person. Even when we take it back to our own family it is very powerful. For us to look at our mother and father and children and kind of ‘not know who they are’ is a wonderfully exciting opportunity to allow them to reveal themselves to us so they get to become who they are not just how we see them in relation to us. Although it gives the other person more space because we are not making assumptions about them, interestingly it also gives us more space because we get to explore the infinite human possibilities that are arising in our own heart and minds.

At the same time it is wonderful to learn about the details and nuances of people’s lives. I think that sometimes we can get confused and attribute differences to cultural diversity in a way that blinds us to the diversity within single cultures. There are risks in prejudices when we don’t have contact with people from a particular culture but then there are also risks when we have contact with a few people and then we take them to represent a whole culture.

The flavours and particular colours of how this individual or that one live their lives and loves and how they derive meaning and purpose in their life. Each one of our journeys is a fascinating pathway of grace and beauty. The way we come to our tradition, the memories we have from childhood, the way we saw our faith practised (if we did), the associations we have and don’t have. There are lots and lots of stories. What interests me in this interfaith conversation is the way that we connect to our traditions as modern people with our own understandings and interpretations and the way we share in community to serve and how we are enriched. I am interested in the question of how each one of us has been opened up to love and to the goodness of the world. What are the moments when we remembered? When do they revisit us? I am not so interested in ‘what Jews do? What muslims do? What Christians do?’ what do you do? I have been present at interfaith gatherings when people talk about what ‘jews do’ when they are Jewish and they don’t do the thing they are talking about. It just gives the husk and not the seed. We don’t need to give the textbook version. We can add to this conversation in the unique way of contributing what each one of us does? How we think about things? Every one of our thoughts and decisions has been the best and the smartest that we could manage at the time. They have all brought us to this place.

But anyway the story line of meaning is precious and colourful and deserves attention. I will share with you a few glimpses of the way I have connected with my tradition in ways that open me up to the world. At the same time each story, each joy or each despair, pales in to insignificance in light of the power of being, the pulsating life force, the embodiment of God’s proper name- eheyeh asher eheyeh- I will be what I will be. The isness of things!

The birth of my first child, my daughter, is layered for me with meanings Jewish and universal. (by mentioning birth I am not meaning to ascribe any sense that birth is or  needs to be part of the quintessential female experience, and even when it is, it is very different for everyone) On  a universal level I was just in another zone breathing so that my voice was deep and sounds were coming out and I wasn’t feeling any pain because my breath and voice made a loop that didn’t include my mind. I have heard Rhea Dempsey, birth educator talk about this as women going back to ancient parts of the brain.

We were in Jerusalem, it was Yom Kippur. So I had my ritual mikveh- bath- that day in preparation for the day of atonement. I was at a synagogue where everyone wore white. Before the actual service started there was the introductory line from psalms and the sefer torah- the torah scroll was passed around to every single congregant to hold. We sang the psalm to greensleaves tune- or zarua la tzaddik ooh le yishrei lev simha. Light is sown for the righteous and joy for the straight of heart. We were singing and singing. It was so beautiful. I started to go in  to labour and then I had to leave it was so stroing and I was in the foyer. We told my midwife who was there and then we walked back to our house which was one block away. Our daughter was born in the water that night before midnight. She had bright red hair. Every name that we had thought of didn’t seem to contain the wonder of her birth and her being. I was reading an article about the temple service on Yom Kippur. It was the only day of the year that the high priest entered the holy of holies and lit incense. it was dangerous, he couldn’t make one wrong move. The article mentioned how the  holy of holies is like a womb and the author established this ritual as a deep honouring of the female body. I then decided that we had to call our daughter Ktoret, after the incense. The other amazing thing about the incense is that it has ten ingredients including galbunum, a foul-smelling ingredient but when they come together the aroma is exquisite. This is a reminder of the need of integrating all our parts. The journey of the hero. Our faiths and practices give us tools to navigate the path.

At the baby-naming ceremony of Ktoret Ashira (meaning I will sing) my partner Michael shared a teaching of a medieval kabbalist Joseph Gikatilla from his work Shaarei Orah (Gates of Light). Michael was reflecting of the dynamic of name and namelessness. Gikatella talks about all the names of God. He describes the names of God like putting costumes on God. He says that the lovers of God actually don’t have to call God by name at all. Name is also separation and limitation. At the same time, as humans without name we have nothing. We are not in the proverbial night in which all cows are black. We do live in a world of change and growth at the same time as living with a consciousness of the unchanging and changelessness. In a sense this teaching about the names brings us full circle and refers to the sense of both sameness and difference that I referred to a few minutes ago.

I wanted to end with a few of my ideas about some of the challenges faced by women in relation to cultural diversity. I will focus on one challenge in particular. I highly commend this gathering of women. I love being in the company of women and I think there are some times when women’s only space is called for. At the same time I think that women’s only space is not a substitute for the active presence of women in leadership in mixed religious groups and interfaith settings. I have been the only woman present in countless committee meetings for a range of interfaith events.

As women I think we need to stand up for leadership in our own communities and get the support we need to do that. This is the first step in honouring cultural diversity because if we are not honouring the various capacities of women within our own communities it makes it difficult for us to reach out authentically to experience the diversity of other cultures when we are not experiencing the diversity of our own.  For those of us who do come from more traditional communities where women’s leadership has been more limited to women’s only spaces, we can investigate where this division is based on assumptions about women and our capacities and nature- and the relationship between men and women- that we possibly do not hold to be true anymore.  I also want to acknowledge that in my view men have been oppressed (but received more pay for it at the same time) as well through the roles that they have been forced in to, whether it be as fighters and in wars or having the pressures of supporting growing families in sometimes oppressive work conditions.  The main way that these oppressions have affected men and women, is that from the time that we were little boys and girls we have had- in the words of a teacher of mine- a few cards from the deck tossed to us and told that this is our lot- but actually we can reclaim the whole pack of cards (we are not playing uno or even red aces!) We get a chance to make more choices when we can wade through the many structural impediments to reclaiming the whole deck of cards. But we are not alone. 

We are taught that we are in the image of the divine and that the divine is ever-loving and compassionate. The compassion that we can cultivate for ourself is the compassion that will draw us close to others and bridge the real and imagined gaps between us.

Teshuvah- is return- it is the gift of being able to start again and re-connect to our great nature. Midrash teaches that when Adam saw Cain in the Garden of Eden and they were catching up, he asked him what happened after he killed Abel. When Cain told Adam that he did teshuvah-repented- Adam had a sense of the greatness of teshuvah, that even after killing one’s brother, Cain could right his ways and choose the path of goodness and righteousness. Adam broke in to song: Mizmor shir le yom hashabbat, tov lehodot lashem oh lezamer leshimcha elyon. Lehagid baboker hasdecha  ve-emunatcha baleylot “A psalm, a poem for the Sabbath day. It is good to thank God and to sing to Your eternal name. To tell of your kindness in the morning and to tell of your faithfulness in the night”.

The most poignant law in the Tractate of Middot that I mentioned at the beginning of this talk is where it forbids metal to be placed on the altar.  The rationale that is gives is that something that shortens life should not be placed upon something that lengthens life. It is on this note- and with news of war and fighting between our peoples- all good people- that I pray that we work to build relationships and peace between all people.